I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M FEELING, BUT I KNOW IT'S SOMETHING NOT GOOD - 2

I remember once seeing an almost comically overweight man wearing a t-shirt, Christo sized, that said: I MAY BE FAT BUT YOU’RE UGLY AND I CAN DIET.
I never forgot that shirt or that man who, I’m sure, has long since perished of high blood pressure, heart failure or some other anthropometric distinction that kills land monsters like him. But what has stayed with me all these years is that his shirt said, louder than anything else I’ve ever seen ironed-on, that this man was happy or at least satisfied with mediocrity.

It’s one thing when it your choice but when you are forced fed mediocrity, no matter how much seasoning you use, it still tastes like shit. I absolutely detest watching the fucking Red Wings (who I like a lot) win another Stanley Cup as we flounder. We are the Toronto Maple Leafs, no offense to the Wings but, c'mon, we're the Leafs.
So I understand what we need to do, and I understand what I have to do to be able to accept more mediocrity, and its this; I really believe that this is the only way we don’t have another 1980’s era Leafs on our hands. By drafting well. So my thinking all the way till trade deadline day is going to be trade everybody.

Defense.

They say that Defense wins games and that certainly is the case when McCabe is on the ice. Ok, I have to say that in recent years the forwards defensive game has been brutal, so I do believe McCabe deserves a better fate than what is going to happen and is happening. How could he not waiver in his no-movement clause when Fletch essentially said that he is not part of the team’s long term plans. I would tell him to give me a list of teams he would want to play for and then start making calls. He is being run out of town ala Larry Murphy and will probably be remembered for that goal he put in our net last year. Shame.

Kubina – I’d like to state for the record that I like Kubina. And that with McCabe gone, I would love to hang onto him but when you consider his Stanley Cup ring, that he just came off his best year points-wise and was the only Leaf defense that never finished with a minus. And in a year when Wade Redden is worth 6.5 million a year, Kubina is an amazing bargain. He is sponge-worthy…and will garner a first round pick.

Just to let you know, that’s 11 million off the books right there.

Kaberle – Fist thing I would like to say about him is that he is the best player under contract. Second thing is it’s an amazing contract. Add that to the best first pass in the league and we have incredible return. He’s about as desirable as a photo of Jacklyn Smith in satin pants. And as we all know, at the trade deadline, it was Kaberle for Carter all the way. I would like to point out that Kabs is 30. I’m just sayin’.

Carlo – We all know the issue’s with Mississauga’s favourite bambino. I will say this about him, every 11 games he plays for the Leafs impresses me…but Project Carlo ends this year if his balsa wood body gives out again. If he succeeds than Carlo is a big part of the future.

White – There were times last year that I really liked the way White looked. I think he’ll get more minutes this year (my prediction, paired with Finger) and should grow with confidence as the season progresses.

Stralman – Looked ready at the end of last season and at the World Championships. Can’t wait.

Harrison – Hard nosed bruiser who will start the season with the Marlies but will be given the opportunity to play that he didn’t get last year. Particularly if Frogren is a bust.

Frogren – Apparently he has no offense and Fletch saying he’ll be in our top 6 seems a tad risky but lets give him the benefit of the doubt on this one.

Finger – We signed a guy named Finger for a surprising amount of money. I believe it was something like a 7000% raise.

Kronwall – He is clearly an NHL defensemen and showed some physical flashes last year but I don’t think he’ll make the team at camp.

Oh shit, I forgot my point.